For almost 3 years, I have been married to the most wonderful, conscientious person. When I am happy, he’s happy. When I’m sad, he’s sad. We have learned so much in our marriage about what it truly means to love another person. It’s not enough to buy this or that or even just to say “I love you” every day. What I have learned is that it takes putting someone above yourself through thick and thin to truly love them in the way that marriage requires. It’s having faith above all else that better days are coming, not that they have already passed.
To say that my husband and I have not had times of intense struggle would be inaccurate. There are times we could barely be in the same room together because of something that was said or done that the other did not appreciate. Many times, we were simply acting as two ships instead of one, unable to communicate to the other how we could meet halfway and accomplish mutual goals together.
Over time, we have learned to communicate better. We still have little discussions over what “you did this morning over breakfast” and what “I could have said better but chose not to.” Part of these discussions is acknowledging what we have contributed to the situation before letting ourselves fill-in-the-blanks for the other. I have learned to be more patient and kind, to understand that silence does not mean he doesn’t care, to know he loves me despite his anger or frustration, and to give him time to process the situation. He has learned to let me speak my peace and get it all out, to know I love him no matter what I’m doing to the contrary in a heated moment, and to acknowledge my feelings.
Marriage is difficult and easy. It’s beautiful and ugly. Above all else, it’s a strong bond between two people, for better or worse.